Love Me . Love Me Not .
Thursday, January 05, 2006
it's my 10.30pm right now... not bedtime yet..trying to get sleepy.. well, this week..sighz..again...midnight shift all the way until my off day tomorrow, ph the day after and after.. im getting sick of having the opposite lifestyle a normal human being.. plus the people at work...the whole thing just sucks. when everyone is awake, i am sleeping...and vice versa.. i just cant wait for tomorrow to arrive....
one last conclusion after a month...i still have no good feelings for fo...if any changes...well, i just feel worse each day... this is how the place works.. when everything is smooth...people smile laugh and joke..once something goes wrong....i become the scapegoat...all of a sudden humans disappeared....i see nothing but ugly people.... well, all i can do is bite my lip, swallow hard and TOLERATE.. the best tip would be not to look at them..because i might just reach for any nearest object and fling it at their stupid faces... i dont look forward to work and feel so terrible after each shift.. how can i go on like this? i will break down..... there were so many times i wanted to just walk away and go back home..but i cant.... all i can do is take mc..but there are too many already.... i hate this... and i can hardly believe i actually quarrelled with that shit face in front of my manager... i screamed at her and even pushed her... i think the last time i quarrelled this way was when i was 13 or 14... from that day onwards, we quarrelled at every slightest thing and right now we dont even look at each other anymore. she is a year younger than me and she is one spoilted brat that should be chained to the legs of all managers since she is such a bootlicker... the sight of her just makes my blood boil lar..
admist these unhappiness, there is actually this colleague whom i can really get along with... i miss working midnight with her... she was the one i bought the gift for during xmas.. we would always buy a lot of food and share it during our shift... i saw her last night and she gave me something really sweet....its sooo nice... we both have our own difficulties... but when we work together...its like at least there is some human to turn to.... my manager knows...and i doubt we would work together again....sighz...
i want to go back to school!!!
he took leave for the next few days too...so we are going to enjoy this break of ours.... haha =)
*made my wish*<3
11:00 AM
