Love Me . Love Me Not .
Sunday, November 06, 2005
i have been so busy with i don't know what. but working 3-11 definitely wore me out. i have been working 3-11 for almost a month, or more already.. no life shift.. next week, still 3-11. sighz.. but november is here.. my last month in hskp...
yesterday, i was really really very very confused, don't know what i should do or think.. i mean i have always trusted him, on the things he says does etc.. when we first started out, he told me he already quitted smoking. but yesterday he admitted he did smoke during the first month when we were together.. how did we come to this topic..? well, last night i went vw to pick up laundry and out of the blue i just took another route..one i had never took. i had to pass by the smoking bay. over there i saw his back view, and i was really very very curious. he was tidying his uniform. as i got nearer, he turned. yes, it was him. it was him... he pretended not to see me, took that sickening god-damn freaking freaking FREAKING pack and walked away. i stood there like an idiot. then i couldn't work for the rest of the day. i kept taking toilet breaks, sat there and kept convincing myself i saw the wrong person.. it wasn't him... but later when i met him after work, he admitted. but he said it was his first one in 3 months. he was really very very stressed and upset at work that's why.. i really don't know what to believe, what not to. he promised me he will never smoke again. i just told him..if i ever catch him again once more, we are over. i just hate liars. i have always been right, guys can never, NEVER be trusted. NEVER. and it's not just about lying to me.. it's that..i just don't like, i mean i hate people whom i love soo much to hurt themselves. especially my other half.. i don't want him to do things that might possibly make him leave before me. stupid things that can hurt him. we have to be the same.. smoking to me, is not the only way out. NEVER. it's just an excuse.
*made my wish*<3
3:19 PM
