Love Me . Love Me Not .
Saturday, October 22, 2005
*made my wish*<3
7:05 PM
it has been a great day for me so far.. well, those people finally understood what i said and this week i got to resume my training programme..but on one condition. i still have to help that secretary do filing, key ot for those RA and whatever clerical stuff at least once a week. that, to me..is half a day a week. haha.. i did it quickly so i get to attached to exec instead of freezing myself in the office. this morning was my first day at vw.. i had a pleasant surprise. mr chow yun fatt called to make up room and my colleague and i got to check the room condition. we went in thinking he had went out, but all of a sudden he walked up to us and said in cantonese "hi what are your names?" shook our hands and thanked us for taking care of his room. later we had to go in again to see how the RA was doing as it was a huge suite, and there he was taking a pic with our RA. then he said come come, let's all take pictures. we said we didn't have a camera. he said nevermind, handphone also can!(??!!) i passed my lousy hp to his friend(or whoever that was) and he grabbed my shoulder and said BIG smile. haha...i was like in a daze, don't know what to say or do.. i mean, i have never seen a star like him..so easy-going, friendly and funny. he had beard and moustache on, i wonder if he grew it on purpose. but not bad! a good experience.. if only i was also at vw when david beckham, jackie chan and...came. lol.. but the pic turned out bad..my hp was bad enough and it was set to potrait..my goodness, how come i didn't realise?? i wanted a second take! but nah, don't wanna be so auntie... sighz...
it's saturday..and i can't wait for sunday to come.. because..my darling is off tomorrow too. i guess it has become hard to share the same off day..and it's so sad...we kept working opposite shifts. next week he is finally working 9-5, but i'm working..3-11!! well, nevermind..we will find a way..yup. some things about him that i found out, just makes me more certain..he doesn't know..he doesn'd have to know..i know can le... wanna go rest le.. i worked like a coolie this week. deserve more rest.... =)
*made my wish*<3
6:24 PM
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
time flew past quickly. so much stuff to keep me busy those 2 weeks.. how i wish i could hold on to time, let it stay a little longer just for a while more..
anyway, my darling's birthday was on 13th october.. i have never seen someone so enthu about his birthday like how he was that day. he wanted to visit sentosa..especially the underwater world. so we stayed overnight at rasa sentosa the day before his birthday. i bought him a watch and a tiramisu cake.. we checked in late about 8pm, went for dinner, then waited until 12am so we could cut the cake. the check out time was quite late..wanted to go swimming, but too lazy to get up... so head to underwater world..tix included dolphin lagoon. he wanted a shot with the dolphin too.. hehe.. then..the madness began. we went orchard.. he bought a set of clothes for himself from zara, bacause he wanted to wear it to see my parents the next time..and insisted on buying for me too. left me with no choice as the enthusiastic salesgirl fussed over me and asked me to try clothes after clothes for him to see..settled on a top and skirt from the clothes publisher. after that we went for dinner at a crystal jade korean restaurant... we forged the movie as it was already 8pm..i had to work 7-3 the next day. well...he spent close to 1k just for his birthday.. =) scary ya...but he wouldn't let me get in his way, he just wanted to do that. well well....
there were quite a number of occasions which i didn't go to school or work..my mum wasn't around and i just felt plain lazy. work has not been so good for me lately. i'm starting to lose my motivation and nobody can help me..they made things worse and worse for me.. messing up my training programme, work schedule and treating me like a ball... rolling to wherever needs help. sighz.... i don't wanna be a freaking secretary assistant. the job is so damn boring and NOT satisfying at all. i do filing and photocopying for the 8 hours i was at work. manz..i felt just like a machine. otherwise i will be making up rooms or replacing clerks on mc to pick up irritating phone calls from bitches, especially those from fo. it's making my mood go way down down down... i can't help it, it's gives me lots of food cravings and i have been satisfying it all. i didn't care.. i needed emotional support badly too.. and my darling was very sweet. he spent lots of time with me..every single day for 10 days. ;)
but i was at it again. time of the month. freak it. i wish i could control myself better. but it just didn't allow me to. we had a tiff few days ago. a very bad one. it was already 12am..we just watched "april snow" at j8 and he sent me home to my void deck. we sat at our usual place. he doesn't like to see females cry. and i did for the first time, but not directly in front of him at least. but of course he knew. he didn't know what to do. it made things worsed. he continued to say things that hurt me a lot. he was not aware. it was the cause of it. he said and said and i went away. i couldn't listen anymore. it was my fault i knew but how can he say that.. i was quite insulted. he didn't look for me. i cried enough and went back. he didn't care. he demanded to know if i regretted being with him..he asked if i was serious about this relationship, he said i had no trust in him. i was still upset. but he went away..went home to sleep. it hurted like hell. i couldn't take it. i called him. i asked him how could he do this to me. walked away without even bothering about me. i was crying again. i said maybe we were just not meant to be. then he came back, and asked to meet at the same place. he will wait till he sees me..until 11am. he needed to work at 12pm the next day. it was 4am. i went down at 5am. things got better. he apologised to me. he asked for another chance... i was feeling alright already.. we made up. but those words he said, just kept repeating in my head....until today, right to this moment..it just keeps playing over and over again. it makes me wanna cry. typing this makes me feel like crying too.. it hurts a lot. i guess this quarrel we had made me lose a little passion for him. i didn't really need, or wish to see him much anymore. seeing him reminds me of...... ouch. my dear.. i am sorry. i was petty, unreasonable, bad at chinese.. but you shouldn't have said what you said i guess. you were angry i know.. it hurted you too when i cried i know.. and i have always trusted you..maybe not completely but give me time... trust doesn't come easily for me.. forget the past i know.. but, once bitten, twice shy.. that i know too. i hope he will understand one day...
my parents touched down at 6.30pm yesterday. i didn't fetch them as my lessons ended late and i had a lot of work not done at home.. so i met up with them for dinner. then i had to see a doctor.. i don't know if it was bedbugs or not but i have been having this terrible rash that gave me insomnia for the past few days. doc gave me a jab, medicine and cream. hope i get well soon!!.. then earlier on i went for eye check to buy new contact lens.. have been having problems and yea, there is.. the doc said it is "propolis" or something. contact lens wearers' problem. to make it better i have to stop contact lens for 2-3years but no promises. i don't know how yet.. sighz.. i'm so broke now.. new contact lens cost $150 and spent more than i should and now i have to scrimp and save.. haha.. anyway, it has been a quite a (2)week(s) for me.. so "happening" ya.... sleepy le.. want to go zZz... wish me sweet dreams......
*made my wish*<3
9:06 PM
Thursday, October 06, 2005
i thoroughly enjoyed the hotel visit trip. oriental is nothing much like shang.. except for their guiding principles and newly renovated rooms with great views.. oh, they have quite a cool spa too.. but their rooms too small, bathrooms too small, lobby too cold, too little signage..i finally saw MELT too.. well...ok, quite impressed.. just not as large as the line.. i mean variety.. anyway..i went for a movie with my dear after the visit.. yup...that's because i didn't plan to attend lessons in school the next day. i wanted to send mum and dad off.. well..i did. and of all places, he chose the airport to meet me after that.. haha...i saw him before it was time. mum saw him..and he had to go over.. this was considered the first time meeting my parents...officially..ba. first time i saw him so nervous and out of place i can't help laughing.. my parents were nice trying to talk to him and stuff though.. not too bad i guess... then my parents reminded him to send me home and went into the departure hall. today is day one... i woke up late...didn't sleep last night...so...faked an mc again... i accompanied him to work and came home... so i'm home now.. feeling very sleepy... but cannot sleep. have to sleep early tonight... ok, gonna rest now!~
*made my wish*<3
4:00 PM
Monday, October 03, 2005
somehow i'm glad to be back in school... work has been really sucky for me this week. my last day as hskp clerk was the worst day i had since i moved on to rooms.. don't want to go into details. but no manager with the right mind would say things like: you pissed me off, you get it from me, you better do this, you are not fit to stay in hskp, you have big problems, what do you think??, shatec trainee some more etc...... it's like what the hell? what's his stupid problem?! ya, one event i may be at fault..but mind him...i'm a TRAINEE..there to learn from experiences..who is he to insult me and say sarcastic things...threaten me with warning letters. just GO TO HELL lar.. damn pissed off...to make matters worse, most hskp people are all also one kind. can't stand it!!! i really hate hskp......... sad.
yesterday met up with my dear.. twice. haha..before his work and after.. stayed out quite late. well.. he came to look for me after work because i said i was sad i think... but then i was really quite sad.. we already have limited time to spend together.. have to meet up at odd hours.. just lack of quality time..no quantity too. then he told me he is going to transfer to blu restaurant. which means 3-11 everyday.. i wonder how we are even going to spend more time together.. that is the worse shift ever.. for me, it's a no life shift. he doesn't need social life, he meets me whenever he can (meaning no extra hours to work).. how are we going to work this out..? i wonder how the staff at blu deal with their social life.. i didn't say anything though. because it will be a better for him to transfer..he get to learn more..especially fine dining..which he has always wanted.. to him, work is important..meaning a good career. well, he gave me a totally ridiculous suggestion though.. he said why not we move to a rented room together.. oh my god...not possible at all. i want to live with my family... and...the major issue would me..i haven't been together with him long enough to think this way. to me, it's still the beginning.. but for him, he is thinking very very far.. future. i'm like still learning to cope with a bf who spends a lot of time at work...and question is what if he is like that even after he leaves the hotel, and if i were to go back with him..will i be very very lonely? can't blame me for thinking so far.. this is going to happen in a few years...if i'm still with him. well, he doesn't worry about all these. he is just worried i won't go back with him.. he didn't even think about us when accepting the transfer. not that he has to think about us, i mean it's work i know.. but..it just didn't cross his mind. i guess we will just work things out as it comes... no point thinking so much about these things that has no answers yet. maybe one silly thing that should really bother me is his female colleague. i don't like her.. he will ask her to give him morning calls when he is working morning shifts. i really wonder why... can't he wake up on his own??? then she will even sms to apologise if she forgets.. the he will tell her to have a good night etc.. i asked him, saw him sms and everything.. i felt so sour. i don't know why.. it was nothing to him... but it's just very sickening to me.. sighz.. whatever lar.. this not the only thing... guys are all like that. all the same...... numbed.
today lessons started at 2pm..tomorrow going oriental hotel for hotel visit.. not too bad... i can sleep longer... hehe.. i will be sending daddy and mummy off on wednesday... really hope they enjoy their first honeymoon.. ! ok.. i'm going to have to tidy my room now.. it has been a mess for the past half year i don't know why... finally i have the mood.... hee.. =)
*made my wish*<3
9:20 PM
