Love Me . Love Me Not .
Saturday, September 10, 2005
its been a hard day today.. i was called out of the clerk room, like yesterday...to clean rooms! occupancy increasing, staff shortage, trainees come in handy.. multi-tasking us.. cleaned a lot more rooms than usual.. totally shagged.. it meant late lunch.. at 2pm...can u imagine? im knocking off at 3pm. kendurina closing already at 2.30pm.. but he waited. then i told him today.. he is doing too much overtime.. (minus:you're neglecting me!) he said.."let me do tis one full mth of overtime..let me see how much can i take..let me concentrate on work just tis once? after that i will give u all the time you want. im doing wat a guy should do, work diligently. u should know im workaholic." i didnt say anything.. my heart was screaming "wat about me?!" i never told him. he will just ask me to grow up. the way i feel..is tat wat ppl say..immature? how mature can i get? my 20th bday hasnt even passed.. well, so is it time i start to think about "me" as a person..? i should understand n give him all the time he wants.. doesnt matter if we dont even meet up to go out.. is tat wat i should be doing? i dont know. he wasnt really like totally ignoring me.. he meets me during lunch, then he calls me after work.. i should be satisfied.. but im just so insatiable. perhaps its time i keep myself fully occupied. so i dont hav time to feel alone or think about such issues that he doesnt like to discuss. tis kind of time apart...will it bring about anything? well..at least he made plans to give me few hrs.. next tues..he will stop at 5.30pm to meet me.. but he said..if im planning to go home early to study for my paper next day, he suggests we meet up after his over-time period. of cos i want to meet.. sounds so egoistic.. sickening him... well... tis leads me to it again.. im thinking of approaching banquet.. since im working 7-3pm..i can do ot after tat at bqt? make me a workaholic.. 7am to 12am daily. haha... then i will start to turn old n ugly.. lol.. lack of beauty sleep.. but ya, im looking for ot to do right now.. keep myself occupied... well...wait till i find one.. right now i hav start flipping through newpapers, help him ask about room rentals..he wishes to rent one here.. so we could meet more often.. is it really feasible? but one major problem...i dont like talking to strangers...so its gonna take me ages to think: to call or not to call... haha.. im sleepy..call tomorrow(maybe)... zZz.. missing him like crazy....("v")
*made my wish*<3
8:23 PM
