Love Me . Love Me Not .
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
it doesn't not matter what people think..really.. but i really wonder if i seem like i'm acting weird. i don't know.. i have too much time again.. i started reading my blog all over again from april. and i think i'm weird. i mean, i use weird because i can't explain.. right now..i am refering to my ..love life... if i ever talk about this to anyone, just anyone. they will tell me..let it go. you have made your choice..why do you even bother to think back when you are happy now.. but i can't help it. my mind wants to ponder. i cannot imagine how a relationship..coming 3 years could be so fragile... how is it possible it just ended..... it's like a dream.. till today, i still think about it. sad, yeah.. but who is the bad guy? me right...... i was the one.. i made that choice. i'm the hateful gal. but all of a sudden i couldn't understand why.. it wasn't the usual tiff then patch..it was an end. i did it. all because i wanted to be happier.. (for the moment..?) before that i was reading this book..it was saying "make up..don't break up..relationships have obstacles that we need to go thru...etc......" yup, it is still in my mind.. i guess, i just thought maybe he would do something..something that will make me want to go back to him again. but nothing ever happened. disappointment, sadness, then nothing. no more..i don't feel for it anymore.. just will think back... ya...sometimes. i think he is doing very well now. just might as well.. at least there will not be anymore unhappiness caused by me... no, we hasn't spoken to each other ever since the last time we saw each other. i should know better how i should be outta his life.. it's just sad. ya ya ya..i brought it upon myself. i know... sighz... why do i think so much. no, i'm not unhappy now. in fact i'm very happy. just that some things..it takes time to get used to....
yesterday...met up with my kangyun... i was going home from school, he came to mrt station to wait for me.. he just viewed a room near my area..a bit too pricey. then i went home, took a shower, then packed my dinner...went downstairs to eat with him.. he knows i want to go on a holiday (away from sg) very badly.. we were planning to visit his hometown next year.. now he wishes think about other choices.. because he was thinking of visiting hk's disneyland... then we wrote options on pieces of paper.. china, taiwan, hongkong.. pick till we both pick the same.. but not fun de....we both picked the same one the first try. yup, it's hongkong.. so now have to save $$$.. next year march...not a long way.. hehe.. his birthday is coming...13 october.. he wants to spend his birthday at sentosa... he hasn't been there yet. what should i buy for his birthday.... ? hmmm...maybe a watch with a square face...he is looking for one like that... ok, feeling zzz already.. time to oink.. this week working 7-3..i need sleep...
wish me sweet dreams......
*made my wish*<3
10:06 PM
