Love Me . Love Me Not .
Sunday, July 31, 2005
im at home! i didn’t go to school today.. really need a break frm “Mondays”.. so..gonna hav to take mc later.. yesterday..spent my day a way i had never spent before.. lol.. i met up with him abt 12pm. then we went "din tai feng" to eat their crystal buns. after tat we walked to ps, rested at secret recipe.. we ate a choc brownie with ice-cream. tasted soo nice... then we went fort canning park, continue to take pics there.. it was soo hot n we couldnt find our way out (again!).. haha.. after tat we went to eat at e foodcourt.. i had an udon frm e jap stall..but e set has a chawanmushi n it wasnt available. it was ok for me.. but he..knowing i like it a lot..brought me to a jap restaurant next to e foodcourt juz to hav chawanmushi! tis was crazy... n in order not to let e staff there throw us out, he ordered beverages n a dessert too. chawanmushi there was nice...n e dessert..my god..tasted soo heavenly.. it was green tea ice-cream with red bean n rice balls on e side. after tat...we went to watch "stealth", still at ps.. went home late..again.. wat an itinery.. yup, spent alot alot.. he said he intended to spend 200 bucks, n was fine with it cos we only spent 100 over.. ya, i chipped in a little too.. it was far too much actually..how did we even spend so much... lol.. on top of all these...he huh... bought me a fossil watch. cos mine was spoilt already.. but it was like, there is no occasion. so..i didnt really like him spending so much on me.. mum is gonna ask again..then say i should not accept such gifts. he was juz being nice..wants me to be happy.. but i juz dun wan him to forget he is supposed to save $.. tats why he is here.. well...i was totally worn out.. but managed to wake up early..abt 9am.. ok, gonna take a break.. rest e whole day today... zzz
*made my wish*<3
10:45 PM
Friday, July 29, 2005
mini-bar is so slack tat its juz soo sick..! tmr last day there anyway.. do nothing..e whole day i juz chat around with ppl i saw, walk here there dunno where.. my manager even asked me..so wendy, tmr is ur last day, wat time would u like to work? so i said..9am is so boring im doing nothing..let me come 10am? i wanna sleep an hour more. granted! my goodness..an ok, as long as ure happy was wat he said. eww... hmm..i saw him again today, during lunch. but i was with sophie again, so didnt get to talk to him. its ok, im gonna wait for him finish work tmr.. 5 hours..gotta plan how im gonna spend it. juz now e chinese restaurant manager was asking me if i would like to work during e mooncake festival.. for 2 weeks, 10am to 8pm everyday. good $.. i would love to..but school! tats e problem..sighz.. he will be working too.. to earn $.. well, i will see how.. cos being home alone is driving me crazy. even if there r others at home, it makes no diff.. they dun talk to me. then my mind starts to run wild, i start to become sad, demoralised then depressed.. sad cos i havent recovered..time will heal everything. demoralised cos i think abt how much weight i hav put on after working at shang for a yr..in sch i was 43, then 45, now 47.. i hate tis.. i hav decided to start slotting 'exercise' into my lifestyle.. as of today.. earlier tis evening i went for a 45min jog.. if i do it more often..not only can i lose those kgs, i feel less lethargic n look better.. not like i havent slept for days.. haha.. yesterday, again.. he took a cab to my block after work.. tis time i really really wanted to see him. we sat at e park n chatted till 3am.. i woke up at 7am tis morning. super taxing on my health, but it was worth it. i havent chatted with him like tis for a looong time.. he made big plans for our very first off day together! tis sunday.. he wants to go to east coast park, eat something nice n watch a movie.. how do i arrange these so it wont seem difficult..? lol.. he even borrowed a camera.. he wants to take pictures..not thru hp.. then he is gonna send one of it back to his mother n sis! ahh..! i juz cut my hair, i look so "tut", i dun wan take pic! haha.. 30 mins more n he is off duty.. guess i better go get myself sleepy.. later gonna sms him then head straight to lala-land.. i need all e sleep in e world.. ! zzZZzzz... =)
*made my wish*<3
10:37 PM
Thursday, July 28, 2005
oh..freak tis freaking com... my blog was not published once again. damn it, im lazy already.. =(
*made my wish*<3
10:20 PM
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
i hate my com.. im retyping this.. cos it didnt manage to publish... dont wanna repeat le. im so sleepy n my com is doing this to me..nooo... oh, never mind.. anyway...
rainy weather..making me feel sick n sleepy.. i havent been sleeping well n am starting to look terrible! even he says so! dark eye circles..!! well.. ever since he started his 3-11 shift, i have been waiting for him to finish work every night so we can chat on the phone.. but the thing is, once we start, we cant stop! i will sleep at 2,3am then wake up at 6plus for school! i cant continue anymore, sadly.. i need my beauty sleep or im turning into wendy witch.. haha.. much as i want to, i really cant! let me gain back my energy first.. yep...
yesterday, i was feeling very bad.. he finished work at 11pm, n without thinking he took a cab down to my block! i was supposed to wait for his call n was alredy 80% asleep on e bed in my pjs.. not that i was lazy to change, i wouldnt know what to say to mum...to go out when i was supposed to be asleep! so he called me instead, took a bus n went home.. i went back to sleep immediately.. i didnt even wait for him to reach home, like i always do.. felt soo sad... we were meeting up today, he just couldnt wait.. just now, we had only 1.5hrs together.. he had to work at 3pm.. we had lunch at ajisen, walked around cold storage at taka then went wisma.. time flew like a jet plane.. before i knew it, i was alone again. nah, not to worry, not tat i mind. just 'she bu de' him.. i just wish to see him more often. after that i went to meet my classmates who happened to be in town..just a while. then i came home... he was telling me about his plans.. some plans that might need him to go back. but he didnt want to yet.. well, i have already prepared myself for things like these. i was aware since day one.. it doesnt bother me yet. cos he still cares a lot for me.. well...really need to sleep already... see him in lala land.. lol.. miss you my kang yun... do you hear me..? i miss you so much dearest... =/
*made my wish*<3
9:25 PM
Sunday, July 24, 2005
Sagittarius & Libra
(wEnDy+KaNgyUn)
The merging of Libra and Sagittarius can be paradise found for both Signs; this combination is a harmonious one, to say the least. Signs that are two positions apart in the Zodiac tend to have a very deep, special connection and understanding of one another. Sagittarius, the journeyer, is constantly in search of wisdom. Libra has a mind keen for art, beauty and aesthetics; Libra makes a stimulating companion for Sagittarius on their travels and adds much to Sagittarius's experience. The relationship always feels new because these two keep it exciting -- and yet their natural understanding of one another makes them feel like intimates from the beginning. Together they will reach new horizons in love and in life.
Libra and Sagittarius make great friends as well as lovers. They share a certain fresh-faced optimism in the world; they're both enthusiastic about finding truth and beauty in their experiences. Problems rarely occur. Occasionally Sagittarius may hurt sensitive Libra's feelings by speaking without thinking; conversely, Libra can sometimes be a bit too emotionally controlling for Sagittarius. Since Libra is a born diplomat who abhors conflict, they'll be able to smooth over any ruffled feathers. These two have the gift of forgiving and forgetting quickly.
Libra is ruled by Venus (Love) and Sagittarius is ruled by Jupiter (Luck and Philosophy). Venus's femininity and Jupiter's masculinity make these Signs compatible and balanced. Sagittarius is constantly on a quest for knowledge of the big things -- the truth, the meaning of life and death -- and whenever Libra comes up with a new idea (as they are wont to do) Sagittarius is eager to go along with their partner and become familiar with this new concept.
Libra is an Air Sign and Sagittarius is a Fire Sign. This partnership is full of kinetic energy. As air spreads fire and makes it grow exponentially, this relationship is heated and ardorous. Sagittarius thinks they're steering the rudder, but Libra controls the flow of events with a quieter hand. These two are energetic in the extreme and can run together far and wide. The relationship runs most smoothly when Sagittarius can feel they have plenty of freedom and independence within the relationship.
Libra is a Cardinal Sign and Sagittarius is a Mutable Sign. Libra is an initiator; they think up new ideas and new places to go -- but can change their minds at a moment's notice. Sagittarius is flexible and adaptable, amenable to any changes Libra wants to make in plans.
http://astrology.yahoo.com
*made my wish*<3
6:46 PM
each time i look at my phone, think about him, he will call me.
each time i look thru his past smses, smile at it, he will sms me.
each time i feel down, just feel like i'm breaking down, call or sms me.
each time i think about him, he will be thinking of me too..
if i ever miss him so much i have to see him, he will be right here with me..
call this telepathy or coincidence, it happens...
that's what makes me stronger, makes me want to love him more, want to overcome all obstacles that may come our way..
*made my wish*<3
3:57 PM
on the 21st july, i had to see him.. cos i was happy it had been a month. well, he was 3-11, i was 9-5..no way we could meet up. so he made an excuse so he got to go to the furthest kitchen in the hotel to get food. he told me to wait there.. it was an empty kitchen, cos no function. its a 4 min walk there. we met up there, went to e stairway to chat a while, took a 7 min stroll back.. then i went home, happily. at least we got to spent some minutes together..
friday was his off day, i was working so we met up late. we saw my mum by coincidence, then my dad..at about 4am. well...dont know what to say.. he started to self-intro, blabbered on abt why i was with him etc.. i had to signal him to stop.. lol.. tat night/morning, i slept at 5am, woke up at 6.45am to go work.. shagged, but at least i got to see him longer.. i have not told my parents, no intentions to, yet. i need more time.. he is a great guy, a good boyfriend, very matured in his thinking... but i am not absolutlely sure just yet.. i dont know why, but i just cant get myself to trust.. time is one thing, quality time spent together is another issue.. i wish we can have more time together.. he will be working 3-11 for a long time cos of some unhappy issues at work.. like forced to.. in order to keep his job.. i will be working 9-5 for a long time.. the most he can do is to have same off days, which is already granted...
woke up early in the morning today.. had an apppoinment to cut hair at 10.30am, i woke up late! so took cab down... after that, visited petshops, went shopping around the serangoon area.. bought lunch, bubble tea! and came home... so here i am....missing him... =)
*made my wish*<3
2:27 PM
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
i was about to start blogging when he called... he's at work rite now.. chatted for a while, 6mins to be exact.. i havent seen him for 3 days. he wanted to meet me today after work.. but 11pm...a little too late aint it? i think i need more sleep. i will see him tomorrow already, anyway..but my heart juz says noo! im thinking of taking a cab to shang later juz to see him.. is tis a little crazy? but i miss him a lot... think better not.. its my mum n dads' 20th wedding anniversary tomorrow, dont wanna make her worry.. i think his chef is doing it on purpose.. maybe they juz dont like us to be together often, so he changed his shift to 3-11 all e way as of tis week.. they r such blabbermouths. a chef who spotted us weeks ago went up to blu n told all e chefs: he actually found a singaporean gal! he wasnt n isnt well-liked by many. thus so... who cares.. as long as we r happy. i dont want him to be bothered by wat they say. he juz dont like e way they look at me.. like in curiousity or wat, i feel like an zoo animal.. watever.. tomorrow..is our 1st month anniversary. a few days after we got together, i started making a star each day. today, i hav 30 stars, each with a date.. tomorrow's star, with a message.. im giving him tomorrow during his break.. im working 9-5 shift for now...see e diff? like how do we even meet? he suggested bfast together.. im lazy... haha.. school hasnt been great latelt, n wont be for tis sem. so im glad for those smses he sent me when im in sch.. makes me feel a lot better.. ! oh, juz now..my god... i saw myself on tv.. e filming was tat day when i was at sentosa..at e beach..tat bridge..in a "suntanning suit"..(forced)chatting with tat old man..thank god, its backview!! haha... anyway, i look forward to work tomorrow..really.. cos i get to see him.. piece back tat missing bit of my life.... =)
*made my wish*<3
9:57 PM
Monday, July 18, 2005
i think monday is e worst day i could ever have this semester. i can hardly imagine living monday for e next 8 weeks.. slow, dry, boring, "dUh? tats common sense" lessons frm 8.30am to 6pm... all i do is eat to keep awake, sleep so time passes faster.. my god..! i rather go back to work, wash toilets, watever but tat. its torturous... i hate mondays.
yesterday i went for dinner with my family at de grandeur (new buffet restaurant @ kallang). ok, its $28.90++ per pax type. so i didnt expect much... but they should at least hav a proper manager n clean dishes rite? n i cant choose to forget abt e flies when they actually decide to swim in my beverage rite?? but all in all, a good time with my family.. its been a year since we last ate buffet together.. like how we used to......
i got home abt 9plus. it was early. he found out n came over immediately.. he finished work at 5pm. went jogging at botanical garden, then went swimming with my ex-colleague(frm rm service).. he should be tired, but he came as planned, no matter how late i reached home. so as usual.. we sat down, chatted about our day.. then took a walk... sat down, searched for stars in vain.. saw planes n talked about future again.. he is planning to go back next yr, so he was asking if i could go with him.. its too early to say... shall see... each time i see him, i still get tat kind of butterflies in my stomach kinda feeling.. when he talks, i just like to look at him... when i dun see him... i will try all ways so i could see him when im at work.. if im in sch, all i can do is think about him.. never fails to bring a smile to my face. if these feelings could juz carry on forever... he juz called me frm hotel.. he went jogging again.. he told his mum about me again. i hav no such intentions yet. well, talking to him made living monday worthwhile all over again.. like him soo much... but not to e extent he is indispensible yet. sometimes he makes me soo mad.. but e way he makes me smile again, juz makes me laugh all over again... wonder what he's doing rite now... perhaps improving his english again. hee... anyway... i hav to start on my assignment..
miss my kang yun... =)
*made my wish*<3
10:36 PM
Saturday, July 16, 2005
changed my blogskin.. reason being: tat bear is gone..! anyway, its a good way to pass time.. i was meddling with it from 6pm till 10pm.. time juz flew past.. like tis skin a lot.. but it juz seem like a little sad to me.. well.. tis skin does say a little abt me, but not a lot k.. hee..
had quite a good week at housekeeping tis week.. dun hav to be a house attendant, they told me to changed my uniform so i could learn from e executives.. meaning..supervisors.. i wonder why they carry a red card.. i thought captain positions hold a green one? anyway, it was boring! no hands on at all.. all i had to do was tagged along, check those public areas, i mean e whole hotel.. juz walked n sat e whole day... no fun... n so many breaks... its soo boring.. glad i will be going mini-bar next week. hope its better! ...
i was thinking... if i ever start to mind when people, especially my frenz say things i do not wish to hear, then i think i will die of sadness one day.. ppl dun understand.. they judged without even getting to know e person. but at e end of e day, i will still feel happy. cos i know he will be there to cheer me up. he doesnt even care wat ppl say abt him. yea, he's right, we r living for ouselves, not anyone else. as long as we r happy, we r together, we dun really care wat ppl say.. its none of their biz, really. i guess when i say things, in my heart i was hoping for some support from ppl i need to hear from, but all i got was sarcasm n negativity. makes me feel very down, but at e same time, makes me stronger. i will not allow anyone who doesnt even know him to say such things abt him.. i do admit us being together so soon is kinda impulsive, but since it already happened, why look back n ponder? yes, i hate to be alone, i dun wan to be alone, but im not being with him cos i wan company. it isnt simply company. theres a lot more to it. i havent gone out with him for long, but it does feels like we hav known each other for ages. oh, watever. ppl wont understand. sighz.. n of course i am not cold hearted. i hav feelings, im human. ppl think im not sad to lose e other rship, juz cos im together with another person so fast. its no point being together when there r no feelings for each other already. we r not even frenz now, its like he hates me. he didnt even try anymore. tis already goes to show how much i had even mrant to fim in e first place.. i thought a new rship might make me forget abt being sad, but no.. i still think abt it. things tat remeinds me.. things tat i will never hav again... its a diff person now.. n at times i do miss some things a lot.. or rather, a lot of things. when i with him, yes, i can forget everything. but when im alone at home, hes working ot n i hav nothing to do... i cant stop myself frm thinking... im so confused... why cant i juz give up n not think anymore? i hav chosen to be with someone else, i should not even remember anymore, but i do.. n i cant tell anyone at all... is tis some kind of a big joke fate is playing on me? i dunno... all of a sudden. i feel so uncertain all over again... cos of things ppl say, e way i feel, e way he treats me sometimes...... rite now im at a stage of knowing him even better... so there is going to be a lot of obstacles. not tat he is not nice to me. he is very nice to me, too nice.. but at e same time, he is sometimes a little egoistic; like when it comes to caring abt me.. he cares too much.. in e past, i was afraid of hearing "i need to go home" , now im hearing "you need to go home"... yes, tat was already like, maybe past 11pm? but i didn t wanna go home.. haha.. ok, it me... its all abt me again... i shouldnt compare.. im getting sleepy i dunno wat im saying! woken up at 6am, by him!... (his morning calls again..haha..but tats really sweet.)... when i slept at like 3am last nite. im so tired... i better log off, take a nice bath, go to bed...... miss you my kang yun..my alex... think he's off duty already. he worked frm 6am to 11pm... i saw him today.. so happy... in fact i see him almost everyday... longest time apart is: one day. lol... but i wont be seeing him sun, mon maybe tues.. =( will miss him a lot...
*made my wish*<3
11:06 PM
Friday, July 08, 2005
1st day at housekeeping today. well.. not too bad..was doing public area! m floor n horizon club level..a bit of lobby.. had quite a good day.. basically, i have to vaccum e carpet, sweep e floor, mop e marble area, polish brass doors, wash e sinks, clean e toilet bowls, spray lots of freshener, top up toilet paper, clean those mirrors, empty dustbins, tidy up ashtrays, pick up litter...all..3 times a day (each area) n my job is done! sounds so damn shitty, feels do damn dirty.. but i dun intend to be negative or else im juz gonna suffer.. laughing at myself as i do all these... if only there are lesser toilets. if only there r lesser cubicles.. if only there is lesser mirrors n no make up area... e worst was having to enter e gents. e auntie i was attached too had to drag me in.. lol... we were done 2 hrs before time.. so we chatted in an "ulu ulu" ladies. then i went back to e store, fold handtowels for a vip function, tats it.. ppl there quite nice.. not too bad.. ;)
that tuesday.. he smsed me a question, within 10 mins i "received" my answer.. he finished work before 11pm, so he took a cab to my block, asked me to come down, so we can have ice-cream together... but i was already on my bed, ready to sleep, but i went anyway.. no regrets. ice-cream...something very memorable for us. (i remember, n will always remember..tat hazelnut n greentea gelato frm taka...) then on wednesday we met up too.. didnt intend to initially, cos i dun wan meet up soo much, i get soo used to it n u noe...... shall not be negative.. anyway, i went out with my classmates.. since its at orchard... we went for dinner, then went somewhere i hav alwaz wanted to go but juz no company..chinablack.. so near to shang.. so at 11pm after he finished work, thought i could see him soon. but silly him... he bought a bottle of red wine earlier n wanted to share it with me, so he was on e cab, on e way home to get it... but i cant.. no way.. i cannot take vodka then red wine can i? i dun think so.. i can only take one type a day.. so he made a u-turn. yesterday we went to visit a museum at raffles place. i got lost inside, so scary, couldnt find him, wanna cry... so i came out sat by spore river, waited for him.. how could he lose me... then we went esplanade... today i saw him twice at workplace.. i was happy cos i saw him... unintentionally. cos im like no longer working at line, cant walk past e pizza, pasta area often juz to try my luck to see him.. haha.. but i didnt saw him there today, it was elsewhere.. to him, im alwaz like so silly.. he alwaz says i think too much, i shouldnt tis tat n all.. well, i dunno wat to say.. might not say too much. but he understands me so well.... i like him sooo much... its no longer tat kind of juz physical n juz cos we r new couple kind of attraction.. did a lot i cant explain.. never done before... i actually like him for who he is, cos of his personality, his attitude towards things in life, i accepted his flaws n all.. well... its juz been only 17 days, tats why i feel so puzzled... only time can tell......
miss you, my kang yun... =)
*made my wish*<3
8:40 PM
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
i havent seen him for 2 days.. miss him so so sooo much... ... last sunday we went marina south to eat steamboat.. juz steamboat, cos he says e bbq is unhealthy. lol.. yup, to be honest.. my lifestyle changed a lot cos of him.. but im glad to adapt. he is soo infectious. with his dreams, ambitions, lifestyle n all. it makes me wanna change.. he feels my life should be a little more interesting...which made me pondered for a long time..until today, even now.. yes it is..but how can i make it better..? he said adding a little sport like swimming or reading or juz by being with him. lol.. it true.. i should not juz concentrate on relationships, n juz spending time with him.. there is a lot more to life. a bf is juz a part, maybe an important part.. but frenz, family n hobby should make up e other parts.. i should oso hav a goal in life.. wat i wanna do in future... ya, he sounds so much like a naggy daddy.. which he hates when i call him tat. but it is so damn true.. he inspires me.. well, its a little early.. but he is thinking how would it be possible for me to live in china after my bond.. maybe work there? he is going to extend his contract until my band ends, but after tat he wans to go back to build up his career.. so he can hav a good life after his 30s.. in fact he has already saved quite enough n can go back next yr when his contract expires.. well.... tis is like soo far to me.. a little too much to think abt. but i hav to.. im not on a short term rship... well, tis is like so unexpected. i hav never ever expected such a turning point in my life. i mean, i said before i will never like someone frm e hotel, i am like soo biased against e chinese..sorry to say tat, but now im not..but now... i hav fallen for him... really....
*made my wish*<3
6:07 PM
Saturday, July 02, 2005
yesterday night he called me.. like he alwaz do whenever he doesnt send me home.. yup, tats really sweet of him, but...he is using his hp.. each time we chatted more than 30mins.. on top of tat, he takes cab home after sending me home, cos its way past midnight.. i mean a lot of expenses.. hmm...how can i lighten those expense ne... he juz told me not to worry, its within budget. lol... hes working till 11pm again tonite.. he gets ot only when bqt has functions. haha.. anyway... rite now doing nothing.. finally finished my food pdtn project.. (my part i mean ;) waiting for him to call.. maybe he using e hotel phone.. haha.. hmmm..today. went to look for my grandma but she wasnt home. she forgot i going!! so i went j8, shop, bought dinner n came home..! finished up e project, n fell asleep on e sofa next to it. so rite now i am very awake.. tmr hav to run some errands for him, then i shall go shang wait for him finish work.. at e same time, tidy my locker, prepare for rooms division..!! ok... nothings more to say le.. maybe watch a dvd or wat later... juz thinking.. till today i dunno which name to call him.. alex or kangyun.. haha.. cos alex is like so common, i noe of many alex around.... anyway, his chinese name sounds a lot better to me...ya?
kangyun, i miss you..!!!
*made my wish*<3
10:20 PM
Friday, July 01, 2005
i have realised.. what that may seem to last may not even last at all from the very beginning.. it may be just other factors that prevented me from letting go.. maybe the sweet memories, maybe some happiness, maybe just cannot bear to, or maybe..just too used to it.. my traditional thinking.. thinking first would always be the last.. feelings can always be built up.. since it had been so long, it had to last.. but what matters most i guess was still mutual feelings.. i cannot be so selfish.. letting go hurts, but just for a while.. maybe mentally.. sure i do miss those things.. things like how i would always get a goodnight call to put me to bed, how i would receive at least 3 'i love you's and 'i miss you's smses in a day, how i could rant on and on about all the anger and frustration i have in me, how i could have someone give in to me on just about everything.. all these.. i realised i might not have it once again.. but at least i had it before.. not that presently i don't have it. it's just not the same.. some things i have to learn to give in.. give and take, that's the new part.. yup, it's sad.. i am, still am, will be for some time. i am not all that heartless.. things and pictures.. all these memeories that he wished i would throw away.. but i didn't.. just don't want to yet.. new things i have to accept.. (happily because i finally understood) he is in the hotel line, he has to work OT, accept OT so he could bring it home, he is not as loving, he won't say often some things that i love to hear, it still takes some time... but the best part.. he understands, he talks about things, he speaks up about everthing he has in his heart, he has his plans, goals and ambitions, he cares a lot, he thinks a lot, the way he pampers me giving in to me, serious when it comes to work, fun when it comes to play, how he would want me to be part of every single activity in his life (from frequent jogging to visiting his senior chef), how much he wants me to help him improve his english, how happy he is to see me, how he wants to see me everyday, how he makes time for me, how he decided to give up his OT for me, how he decided to plan his off days to be the same as mine... so much that is happening in my life i could hardly take in all of them at a go.. is this for real..? will it last..? i would ask.. each time.. he never fails to assure me.. it is hard to believe, but i am his first girlfriend.. i doubted that, but it's really true.. i kept thinking about all these.. it feels just like a dream. to be with someone you truly like a lot a lot.. one thing i have never dared to do since... it's time i stop these doubts. be optimistic, he always says that to me.. well... in such a short time, he made me realise so many things about life.. how can i ever do without him..? i won't say i love him, but i like this guy a lot.. if this is a dream.. i hope i never have to wake up......
*made my wish*<3
10:36 PM
30/06/05 was my last day at work.. e day before my colleagues gave me a very pleasant surprise.. my manager ordered a tiramisu cake frm e pastry kitchen, wrote a message on it n lit my favourite pink candle.. i came back frm e restroom n they sang a farewell song to me.. was very touched indeed.... e cake was very nice.. many of us shared it.. made me even sadder to leave e place..! really cant bear to leave.. i really enjoyed working there. on top of tat, i get to see him... many nice things abt e place... well, all good things like tis have to come to an end, move on to my next.... today was my first day of rooms division. we had a training (boring one!) on e rooms n stuff like tat.. then i went back to e line shop during break.. see them n at e same time get my logbook(but it wasnt there)..so i had an excuse to go back again after training n stayed for a while..had some cake mama brought back frm batam.. well, miss working there so soo much! next week gonna start with housekeeping! my god..! starting with...of all places...e public area!! haha... me in green... eww... lol..
i see him everyday... each day.. i like him more n more.. manly cos he is soo unlike those typical singaporean guys.. anyway, tat day..he made me very confused.. he told me he wanted to buy something for his mum n went to choose a necklace.. ya...like any typical drama. we bought it n gave it to me. i was very surprised..but..i cant accept. it cost 105 bucks... i hav never received something so expensive before.. i mean something to wear on myself.. i noe.. to him its like nothing... to all of u its like nothing.. but we hav juz been together for a while. tat is something too expensive to me.. anyway, we decided not to discuss tat issue n went to our usual spot, to hav our usual ice cream... tat was e first day... but tmr.. its gonna be e first time im not gonna see him in 10 days.. i was forced to clear my AL.. tonite he is doing OT..working till 11pm n didnt let me wait for him.. today he made an absurd request.. till now im still pondering.. should i help him.. or should i not.. i mean.. wat makes him trust me soo much.. sighz.. maybe its juz me n my sensitivity again.. but i really pei fu him.. for being able to stand me.. its really hard for me.. to trust someone new.. but im trying.. he has never given up.. i wont.. u ppl may say.. its juz e start of e rship... u never noe.. but u ppl r maybe juz plainly jealous, too concerned or juz pessimistic.. i mean, u ppl think im like stupid to hav given up an almost 3 years, for aomeone whom i may hardly noe.. but if it isnt there, it will never be... no matter how i tried, it didnt come back.. even if there wasnt him, i would him given up on tat.. he is juz a passerby, who juz happened to catch my attention all of a sudden. i hav never taken note of his presence.. so its juz time i give myself a new life.. i am happy juz by seeing him.. e way he smiles at me.. juz make all my troubles at work go away.. i am happy to have him in my life at tis point.. i dun care if its a rite time or not anymore.. i juz wanna cherish e happiness tat i hav now.... miss him lots.......
*made my wish*<3
9:30 PM
