Love Me . Love Me Not .
Monday, May 30, 2005
such a headache... my test today was horrible.. i failed i guess.. then it will be e first test i hav failed in shatec.. well... let it be... work hard for my exams i guess... hmmm.... kinda worried!! =( hope tis sem ends soon. i dislike it soo much... =P yesterday was e first time my darling cooked something for me... its corn soup with my fav enoki mushrooms.. haha... made lotsa stuff yesterday.. i cooked pearls n made bubble tea. then cooked tat spag n had it in corn sauce, n made almond jelly, then made s'pore sling in a huge jug (i mean virgin sling, no alcohol;).. soo corny, had soo much corn.. lol... anyway, n then we watched 'the hot chick' on scv.. damn funny.. my darling, he was laughing like a hyena!! haha... ok, anyway... fun is over. tis week gotta get mu cost control project done, n over with! :/
*made my wish*<3
8:37 PM
Saturday, May 28, 2005
hectic day at work today.. very busy.. buts tats good for me.. at least im not bored. hee... tmr meeting up with him.. then after tat gotta go home early study for e test next day.. eww...cost control. yucks.. next wk is da deadline for da project too.. n we hav not started (doing) tat. haha.. sem ending soon... yet another boring sem ahead.. well... ;P
thinking abt some stuff tat happened at work juz now.. gotta get it off my chest. its abt tat guy... (no, not e one i was babbling on n on abt yesterday) its been like 3 months plus le n tis guy is still asking me out each time he sees me.. i hav rejected him like dunno how many times le.. thought he would go away, but he didnt. today was different. he came to e shop to ask me something.. he asked if i wanna go watch tat jet li movie with him in june.. i said maybe not, not free. he stared at me. then i said see first. he was still asking, i said ok. (thinking maybe i will say im busy later when it really happens cos i juz wanna get back to work!) but he continued to say when our off days coincide(which alwaz does!) he will buy e tix n i muz watch cos its a promise already!! wat can i say? i was stunned.. then he was like so happy, so i didnt hav e heart to turn him down... i might avoid him e next time i see him. but tats soo mean!! i actually said ok... i could hardly believe myself after tat.. its like... arghh... i would love to go... i mean as a fren nothings wrong, but he doesnt noe i hav a bf! tats e main issue. will he still ask me out if he noes im attached? oh, tats so obvious.. ok, i admit.. somtimes(only) i like him to ask me cos it makes me feel i still hav a fren out there, at times i dun like it cos i dunno anthing abt him at all.. other than where he works, n wats his name again...? i didnt forget, but im not sure.. anyway... ok, i confess... i think... maybe only... i think i might....... hAvacRuShOnHiM . . . tats sooo wrong!!! but tats no big deal? it usually goes away soon as long as i dun get to noe e person well enough... really, no big deal... i juz think tat he's juz really cuteee... n i think he oso kinda gd looking, n oso...... which is why i wonder why would he kept pestering me...... does he say e same thing to every gal..? so far, i didnt hear any "ba gua news" abt him yet... oh my gosh... enough.... ok, tis is why i cannot go out with him no matter wat...!! im attached, full stop. dun be tempted. ok, feel soo much better now tat i hav got it off my chest... but still.... e issue is there... i cannot give someone hope than destroy it.... wat to do....? wonder why he has tis "mei li" tat actually makes me ponder...... :/
!!!
*made my wish*<3
7:33 PM
Friday, May 27, 2005
had a nice day at work today.. bought home 2 large choc chip cookie frm e shop.. nice...but very addictive.. i already ate 2 choc in e morning! one macadamia white n a hazelnut milk.. hmmmmmm... haha.. suddenly asked me work 7am tmr.. but i wanna sleep more!! nevermind..get to go home early mah...... ;)
...2 days ago.. i saw someone... suddenly i had all those memories coming back to me.. bad memories tat i had long forgotten.. lucky thing was he didnt see me.. i didnt wan him to see me. yea, i forgive, but i dun forget. tis guy broke my heart 3 years ago... he was e last guy before my present.. tis guy "taught" me never to trust guys. well, ever since i hav never trusted a single guy.. thus i never made good guy frenz.. i guess other than my grandpa, dad n bf, all other guys juz sux to me.. guys=heartbreakers (for me).. not in a romantic way, but even as a fren, they can be real heartbrekers.. probably cos in a way im a dependent, emotional n sensitive gal. even as a fren, i hope they r good guys. well, if rite now im ever a fren to any guy out there, then tat guy muz be a nice guy.. fren meaning, i call them frenz. call me odd, call me weird, watever.. even if i wan to, its difficult to change my mindset anymore.. well, after going such a huge round.. wat i was saying was... tis guy two-timed me, reason being tat gal would do "things" for him tat i would never ever do. n if i wanna be e only gal, i hav to do "things" for him too. well... bastard. ever since e day i found out, i never spoke to him again. no matter how he begged me like a pathetic freak, i was cold towards him, i treated him like dung. tat was also e day i learnt how to treat ppl badly when they rnt nice to me.. how cruel of me... well, i juz dun sympathise with anyone anymore.. tats why... only ppl who noe me well enough would noe... i dun have frenz... wat i hav rite now in my life r family, my darling, great pals, colleagues, classmates (ppl i care about...) & "outcast"(ppl whom i do not recognise any relation to). sounds like a very cold person? well, old frenz i still keep. true frenz, i keep too.. good friends, juz a few, definitely keep. im still a sentimental person after all.. juz a guys-hater.. dun get me wrong. it wasnt juz abt tis incident. it took many many wrong choices to get me to tis point.. tis was juz e last straw... cant blame me.. i was juz 17, naive n gullible. was...until i met my darling.. so sincere, caring, faithful, understanding, patient.. his sincerity was wat touched me then n brought us together.. until today, i still feel e same (if not more) abt him... loveee him soo much. coming 2 yrs 9 mths... sounds like short time..? well, e road ahead is still a long way... =) ok, still doing my project rite now... better hurry up... cos i wanna zZzz le... ;P
*made my wish*<3
9:49 PM
Monday, May 23, 2005
today stayed at home da whole dayy.. woke up early, so went for a jog then slack around watching tv programmes till now.. not bad.. watched abt 3 movies on hbo.. its like so neverending lor.. but one thing.. i noticed its repeated every week de. haha.. yesterday went tcc as planned.. slacked, chatted n played scrabble till we decided to go home.. hate to stay home alone... wanna go sleep but cant.. cos took a long nap in e afternoon.. hee... maybe a while more ba.. feeling a little tired actually... tmr going back sch... arghh.... pleaseee...let time pass quickly... =P
*made my wish*<3
10:04 PM
Saturday, May 21, 2005
my working days r over once again.. lucky mon dun hav to go sch.. hee.. think i hav got e "suai-est" mouth when it comes to work.. dunno why k.. but each time i said its so free n im bored. ppl start to flow in endlessly, keeping me soo busy i could hardly even breathe. but i like tat better than slacking there do nothing.. but of cos, busy=unhappiness possible. juz made a new colleague tis morning n e next thing i noe was tat she was screaming at me threatening tat shes gonna scold me for nothing. well, i juz walked off. shes frm e restaurant side. thought i saw some light. later she apologised, but i didnt even look at her. i juz snickered n stormed off.. well, never had gd impression of her in e beginning anyway. sighz.. yesterday especially.. got so much shit frm e guests.. mainly SINGAPOREANS! expected.. wat else? kiasu, kiasee, gan cheong, angry, demanding, petty n full of complaints! do u think i care tat u dun feel our restaurant is worth ur $? who cares if all u drank was ice water? do u think i even noe u were baking out in e sun? wats e point of screaming at me? come on, all u wan was a free cake rite? then s p i t it o u t. now wat? e complimentary cake was a 700gm, n she insisted it was supposed to be 1.1kg n wanted a new one! so? get to e point.. as if im really sorryy.. felt like a fool.. saying oh im so sorry to hear tat ma'm, so wat can i do for u? oh, im soo sorry.. holy shit... like so full of crap. but lucky after work i went home then went out to meet my (ex)sweet secrets colleagues for dinner.. how amazing.. its been exactly a year since i left sweet secrets.. anyway... got so much "qi" in me tat i need to expel.. tmr meeting him, carol n carol's him @ tcc... sheryl u really not coming..? hehe.. juz thought abt something.. recently subscribed scv.. i remember in e past.. when i was 12, my mum said "no, scv will only affect ur PSLE. no means no." then at 14, it will affect my streaming.. at 16, it will affect my o levels. finally tis year.. i hav got scv, but...no time to watch anymore!!! haha... how ironic... ;)
*made my wish*<3
8:32 PM
Thursday, May 19, 2005
tOnG hUa-GuangLiang
(e MTV makes me (;_;) )
wang le you duo jiu
zai mei ting dao ni
dui wo shuo ni zui ai de gu shi
wo xiang le hen jiu
wo kai shi huang le
shi bu shi wo you zuo cuo le shen me
ni ku zhe dui wo shuo
tong hua li dou shi pian ren de
wo bu ke neng shi ni de wang zi
ye xu ni bu hui dong
cong ni shuo ai wo yi hou
wo de tian kong xing xing dou liang le
chorus
wo yuan bian cheng tong hua li
ni ai de na ge tian shi
zhang kai shuang shou
bian cheng chi bang shou hu ni
ni yao xiang xin
xiang xin wo men hui xiang tong hua gu shi li
xin fu he kuai le shi jie ju
(Repeat)
wo yao bian cheng tong hua li
ni ai de na ge tian shi
zhang kai shuang shou
bian cheng chi bang shou hu ni
ni yao xiang xin
xiang xin wo men hui xiang tong hua gu shi li
xin fu he kuai le shi jie ju
wo hui bian cheng tong hua li
ni ai de na ge tian shi
zhang kai shuang shou
bian cheng chi bang shou hu ni
ni yao xiang xin
xiang xin wo men hui xiang tong hua gu shi li
xin fu he kuai le shi jie ju
yi qi xie wo men de jie ju
*made my wish*<3
10:09 PM
zZz... gonna be knocked out pretty soon... well, not cos i had a hard day at work.. but a very very slack day at work!! cos its a thurs. almost late for work.. lazy me as usual.. cannot blame. i hav never been a morning person.. anyway, though slack.. it has been both bitter n happy.. probably my mood.. im in p*s mode tis week.. ;/ today a new colleague. well, all i can say is i hav never been on good terms with those ppl (if they r PEOPLE) frm e coffeehouse. *psst* they r a little psycho up there! she treated me like a dumbass n i treated her like a huge pile of shit tats all.. nothing terrible.. but cos i met some colleagues frm rs.. so felt quite nice talking to them for a while (during my working hrs;) anyway, he is leaving.. cant stand hotel line.. nice guy=minus one... my hotel is one big political watever.. ppl come, ppl go.... ppl happy, ppl sad... ? anyway... gonna sleep le.. expect tmr to be busy... okie... zZzzz... (-_-)!
*made my wish*<3
9:25 PM
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
its funny i feel more worn out at sch than at work.. had a bad project week. sch already sux enough. well, my project sux. i hate meetings. esp tis project's. e project is boring enough, yet i play not much part in it. feel demoralised more than anything else. no sense of satisfaction. well, no effort frm me then of cos.. wont even try... anyway, who would listen to me? my presence wont mean anything.. heck care.. like it or not.. i do wat i like only.. wat for hurt myself over tis damn thing... well, time to go home i shd, why sacrifice being sandwiched in mrt? time for play, of cos i go... wat for put in effort tat no one appreciates? e whole damn fking thing juz sux lar.. damnz.... had enough. well, who cares if anyone is happy or not? at e end of e day, most prob all i get is a "wats wrong with her" again.. theres nothing wrong. ppl juz think they noe me. but they dun at all.... guess to them im juz one sulky gal with something wRoNg. things tat dun belong to me, i juz dun struggle. :/
*made my wish*<3
8:00 PM
Saturday, May 14, 2005
had a great day at work today.. well.. no longer 7-3 but 8-4 shift.. better i guess.. but still everyday like working ot.. today worked till 5pm, willingly. i juz loveee e place.. without nice colleagues, tat wouldnt hav been possible. as good as rm service. not bad... hehe.. but one annoying fact though, elderly r really very difficult for me to work with.. we juz dun agree n they act in a weird way sometimes.. like today.. we open at 8am, so everything should be done by then. but it wasnt, n i did it all.. after tat when e cakes n french pastries arrived, i was still displaying e chocolates. but she didnt even budge. she went to fold boxes for e complimentary cakes tat will come later. she left e cakes to melt! when i realised, i left e choc counter n displayed e cakes. but guess wat? instead of helping me, she was removing e cakes i displayed n changing its position saying its not a good place etc?? nevermind.. then guests came n left, e table was a mess.. she stared into space at e cashier.. thus, it me again... i wanted to ask, hey why r u doing nothing? lucky captain came in at 11am, or im really suffering ar..! she so naggy oh my gosh.. calling our handsome f&b assistant director a bastard n a pervert? wats wrong? hes nice.. but she said he ignores her n has his head high up? dUh?! well... old ppl.. i give in.. after all, shes been working there for e past 30years.. she noes better? no way. watever... i wanna go watch movies.. but e prices r a killer! hmmm... tired le.. wanna go zZzz... but im still eating my dinner while i type... hEe...
*made my wish*<3
10:20 PM
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
another week has passed unknowingly.. =) time to go back to work tmr.. u wont believe how happy i am to noe tat.. hee.. monday me n him.. we went swensens after i finished my classes to "celebrate". he gave me those merci chocolates again.. oh no... im definitely not gonna eat them all by myself.. keke.. tuesday.. had project meeting till quite late.. dread taking e mrt during late evening.. like packed sardines oh my gosh... wednesday (today), released early from sch... abt 1plus.. BUT he had to attend some kind of stupid institute day rehearsal again at toh tuck campus. thus... i hav to take my dinner all alone again.. =( school has been a mess for me.. afraid tat im gonna fail tis sem.. but no one to help me with my work.. sob.. dun wanna pay to retake.. those trainers better noe how to be humane.. well, working 7-3 all e way tis week isnt a very happy thing for me, but work is.. like back to sweet secrets.. except, more high class.. keke.. tats good.. ok, juz finished my MIS project.. gonna take dinner n watch chn 8 7pm, 9pm, chn 5 10pm later.. hehe.. till then... ... ;P
*made my wish*<3
6:50 PM
Friday, May 06, 2005
a bittersweet week for me.. manz, i juz freaking hate sch... it juz sux =/ i cant keep up with lessons so im late for sch everyday anyway i dun hav anything to look forward to cos e truth is there is juz nth, nOtHiNg. sighz... oh well.. let it be..let it be..let it be.. ;P yesterday was my first day at the line shop. and wow, i enjoyed working there tremendously! so much so to e extent tat having no off day tis week doesnt affect me much! ok, cos they gave me thur off n i wasnt aware, so i went work! now i hav to work thur, fri, sat & SUN!! i wanna celebrate mama day de... im working 9-5 tat day... today n tmr 7-3.. dread waking up in e morning.. but i juz love to work there! more than at room service..! it juz gets better... ok, maybe cos im like interested in pastry stuff, beverage stuff.. so tis place is like a small "cafe" which sits abt 12pax. we serve cakes, danish pastries, muffins, scones n all tat.. as well as specialty coffee n tea etc.. n we sell stuff like chocolates by weight, cookies, tea, etc.. all my fav stuff.. i love those chocolates.. look so attractive.. finally, im doing something i hav been wanting! oh ya, on top of these, e colleagues there r great ppl! help me a lot.. i juz love e place..! hmmm..decided to bake a cake for my mum tmr.. before i go to bed.. hee.. her favourite flavour lemon.. im baking a butter cake with lemon custard n strawberries.. hope its a success.. then comes e 9th.. our 2yrs8mths.. im making chocolate truffles.. juz for him.. after much experiment.. hehe.. we r like making soo many plans lately.. juz wanna make full use of time before he enters ns next year.. so we had it planned out.. 18-20 june, we booked a chalet.. 11-14 dec, going to cameron highlands for a holiday.. i hav been wanting to see wats e place all abt.. i dun believe its tat boring.. on top of tat, i might be moving to a 4-rm flat.. no longer in bishan i guess.. if it solves e problem, im more than happy even if its a 3-rm. all i wan is for my family to be happy.. nothing else matters. really... frm next yr, im going to start saving $. hope to go on a holiday with my mum.. juz me n her, like tat time when she brought me to new zealand. i remember how she juz wan me to enjoy, $ doesnt matter.. in e end we spent a hefty S$10k on tat vacation. lol.. juz 2 of us.. cant imagine.. sighz.. im doing a lot of thinking lately.. some things tat matters, it juz matters to me n i wan all to be happy. some things tat juz upsets me, i juz dun bother anymore.. if ure nice, im gd to u, if ure not, i ignore.. well, tats life... who cares.. im happy working.. n everything except tat.. tat tiny tat. which doesnt matter le.. im soo tired! gonna sleep early tonite... wake up, n enjoy working again.. hah..! =)
*made my wish*<3
9:00 PM
